there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Randomize
