you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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