I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
