Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
