Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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