We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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