I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
