that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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