Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
