Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The air was thick with penises
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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