I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
