Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
