We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
