Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
