remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
