I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I need a burrito and a hug.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
