And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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