Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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