It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
