I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
