I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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