no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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