I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
