It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
