her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
