Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
