dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
