Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
