You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
