he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
