i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's rum buckets o'clock
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
