Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I want to have your abortion
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Are my feet made of real feet?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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