he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
