I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
