omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
