After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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