I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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