and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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