the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
