and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
