alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are the jesus of drinking
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
