it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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