It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sobbing to NWA
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
