soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
