I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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