but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
