u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
