So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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