maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
