uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
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