Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
