I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
nutella sex= disaster
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
