i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
